Well, der.

In future, must remember, only provide legal advice to those who explicitly ask for it and can afford to pay a reasonable hourly rate.

Dumbing It Down - Moloko

Apparently I look a lot like Linda Blair in The Exorcist at 5am when woken by the stupidity of neighbours.

October Birthday Horror is almost over and that’s a good thing I suppose. But it does mean that we’re closer to the Evil Season which, for the office anyway, is well underway by mid-November. So even if the Gods are smiling upon my little part of the Universe, there’s only a small two to three week window for any Good Times to be had. I won’t hold my breath.

Going to the ARIAs next weekend would’ve been a brightpoint only I’m not going am I? No, instead, I was offered tickets to another music awards do which I had to less-than-graciously decline because, frankly, I was afraid I might disturb proceedings with my snoring.

[Although, perhaps that would be a quick and not too painful way out of the suckiness. Maybe I should go.]

Oh poor me. Hoo.

No, really, things have been bad. I just can’t really talk about a lot of it. Suffice to say work and relationship, dog turds both. I know one is supposed to talk about all the juicy stuff on one’s blog but I’m a wuss. And I’m not 16 and whiney anymore. (Maybe just a little whiney) I’m thinking of going the professional way as some things have come up recently that I realise I should’ve dealt with a long time ago. They’re a festering I tells ya!

Here’s an example of my madness: I recently promised to send copies of (lurve) notes and letters that the girl Big cheated on me with had sent to him during their affair to a friend of mine so he could use them as inspiration for his poetry. What?! Am. I. Thinking?! Ignoring for a moment the question of why I have kept the stinking pieces of crap, why did I agree to do this? What sort of gore-mongering friends do I have that would ask me to do such a thing and expect me to go through with it? Run! Run from the crazee!

I write about doing this and I know that it’s bad for me and I shouldn’t. Then I think I will do it because it’s truly awful writing and great to have a good snicker over. But to do so I will have to hold it and read it and record it and put it out there, giving it more life than it deserves and that can’t be good. But snickering is so much fun! I want to but I don’t. I don’t want to but I can’t stop myself.

I suck.

Supermassive Black Hole - Muse

What’s been happening in my life? Well…

- Two busted knees so not much running or biking
- Making pretty spam
- Making albums look halfway decent against the odds
- Downloading illegal music for investigative purposes - who, where, how much money can we sue for?
- Watching lotsa trashy telly - Big Brother, Neighbours, Veronica Mars, etc, etc
- Visiting blogs, so many blogs
- Avoiding my family for the sake of my sanity (until last weekend when it was Mother’s Day)
- Attending Woo’s many sporting functions/activities
- Holidays at the beach spent drinking, surfing and swimming
- Giving up alcohol (until last weekend when it was Mother’s Day for the sake of my sanity)

Music I’m liking this month:

- Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs
- The Valentinos
- Red Hot Chilli Peppers
- Gotye
- Hot Chip
- The Knife

What’s been happening with you?

I Only Want You - Eagles Of Death Metal

Right now, if I had my choice of insects to annoy me, I’d choose a mozzie over these bloody flying ants that have invaded this locale. When I was inside cooking dinner they were crawling through the flyscreen on the kitchen window, getting in my hair (hopefully not in the food) and crawling up my legs. Now they’re attracted by the light of the screen and are crawling over my arms and neck. There’s hundreds of the bastards. And there’s a katydid crawling across my stomach… whoopsie! It just made a dash for the keyboard and was slightly damaged by a space-entering right thumb. It’s still got a coupla working legs, I’m sure it’ll be okay.

People with death wishes keep asking me what I’m doing for Christmas. Again today the ladies at the deli where I buy my lunch hassled me for details (third week running) and again I told them “I’m running away”. This is too ambiguous for them - they want to know where, for how long, with whom and why. So I’m working on a more detailed tale of escape, going for maximum shock value. It should definitely involve sex, booze and rock & roll, possibly a toy boy or a sugar daddy or both, a fast car and three personal chefs. Tales of Christmas holiday amputations, sex changes and live donor bequests will only be told in cases of extreme gullibility, like when the dude from the butcher’s shop dares to ask.

The crippled katydid just bought it in my wine. RIP insecty-thing. Wine okay!

Mosquito Song - Queens Of The Stone Age

When fans do MGF they do them good and hard. Matt and The Unsent Letter forum peoples put together a tribute to MGF album. This is the link to the album website with news that’s a little outdated but I can’t for the life of me find where current purchasing details (15 bucks folks, a bargain!) are mentioned on the new Jester Punch forum. Maybe just get in touch with Matt cos I’m too lazy to search anymore. He’ll sort you out with a copy for sure.

My work ‘puter had died (again! I work ‘em hard) and I’m up for my third harddrive in six months. It was brought to my attention today that a magnet was inadvertently and previously unnoticeably stuck to the side of the case adjacent to the drive. Who put that there?! *glances nervously sideways and retreats into the shadows*

TV production is finishing up for the year and things have gone a little crazy at the office. Priorities include Christmas trees (apparently it matters not that November is not yet done and dusted), Christmas lunch menus and who can come up with the wildest new excuse to chuck a sickie.

I Dance Electric - Machine Gun Fellatio

Oh, poor, poor Milly.

She’s out of Oz Idol, boo hoo. At least she made it to Big Band Night, my favourite (along with Disco). Although I haven’t watched her performance fully, from what I saw of the highlights and repeats she did a credible job of “Get Happy”. She wore a fab flapper outfit too!

Yes, Woo and I voted for her. Repeatedly. But no luck, she’s still out.

Long live the urban chic mullet!

Mood Indigo - Vince Jones version from “Come In Spinner”

Too much stepping carrying weights at the gym resulted in a badly sprained knee which makes driving a manual car and walking and sitting difficult. It’s on the improve but if I’d had a chance to rest it as advised by the doc I’m sure it would’ve felt better sooner.

My Nanna collapsed unconscious in her kitchen while cooking porridge a few weekends ago. She’d had minor surgery the week before and the doctors think she hadn’t recovered properly from the effects of the anaesthetic. She was lucky that the cooktop was connected to a kill-switch or things could’ve been much worse. The smoke alarm went off but no one heard it. She was found a couple of hours later by a neighbour who by pure chance had decided to drop in some newspapers for Nan to read. The Gods must’ve been looking her way because there was no physical damage done by the collapse. No broken bones, no scratches, not even a bruise! But she did ‘lose her bowels’ and was very embarrassed by all the fuss. Hospital beds for the very aged and not right on death’s door were scarce that day so we were advised to look after her at home. I volunteered to stay over because my parents and aunt were exhausted by that stage. Nan’s much better now which is a great relief to us all.

She’s very independent is my Nan. At first she was all ‘I’m sorry to trouble you’ and ‘No, no, I can do it myself’ but after a couple of hours she was barking out orders like she was Lady of the Manor with a grand retinue of servants at her fingertips. I didn’t mind.

What I did mind was the sofa bed I slept on. It looked comfy enough but, boy oh boy it wasn’t. You know that Seinfeld episode where Elaine spends the night on Jerry’s parent’s sofa and she wakes up unable to move her neck and suffering from spasms? I was Elaine the next morning. My back spasmed for the next 12 hours until relief was had by way of wine and Panadeine Forte. Stella!

And then there was the heat. NAN, PLEASE TURN THE AIR CONDITIONING OFF! I’M BOILING IN MY OWN SWEAT HERE! (Shouting necessary as Nan takes her hearing aids out when she’s at home.)

On the way home the next day, I decided to make a quick stop at the bakery and purchase a donut to cheer myself up. I couldn’t get a park right outside so I had to park down the bottom of the carpark where the local teens hangout after dark with their beers and skateboards and walk back up to the bakery. When I say ‘walk’ I mean hobble, what with the knee and the back spasms and the dehydration and the general tiredness and all. I’d forgotten to take flat shoes with me to Nan’s and only had high heels in the car, and didn’t want to be seen in daylight wearing purple ugg boots, so I decided to hobble barefoot. As soon as I put my foot (the one belonging to the leg with the bad knee) down I trod on a shard of glass which buried itself deeper into my foot with every following hobble. As I winced in pain I tried to hobble mainly on the other foot but soon trod on another piece of glass, one I managed to get out myself. Despite the pain I was in, I was determined to get that donut. With a few pitstops to rest and talk myself out of crying in public, eventually I made it to the bakery and back but as I attempted to get back into the car, I hit my head really hard on the door surround/roof causing stars to fly before my eyes. That was just too much to handle and I burst into tears. Anyway, I made it home without having a car accident but couldn’t reach the glass still stuck in my foot thanks to the bad knee, back spasms, throbbing head. When Big came home hours later he had the pleasure (and to him it was; I HATE having my feet touched by ANYONE) of digging it out with a pin and a pair of tweezers.

I returned to gym last night but stuck mainly to upper body weights, slow walks on the treadmill and a bit of boxing. And, after getting all this off my chest, I’m feeling slightly less emotional now about all the family dramas. Thanks wee bloggy.

Breathe Me - Sia

So there. Suck it and see. *cross fingers*

Chanel from last year’s Idol was cool but Milly has Essence de Cool AND Hip. Ricki-Lee, also from last year, had pop shutzpah and was grossly wronged in her dumping but her first single Hell no! annoys me thoroughly and earwigs would have to take up residence in my ear canal before I would hand over money at the record store to own it. Milly could be the Thinking Girl’s Pop Seductress. There’s only one way Milly could improve: her blue streaks could be purple, like mine!

She’s only 17 so we’ll let the mention of Christina Aguilera in her Idol bio slide, never to be thought of again.

(Let it be noted that I’m only watching because I have to, okay. And if I have to watch, I choose Milly to be the object of my Idol affections.)

Filthy/Gorgeous - Scissor Sisters

I was blushing terribly by the time I stumbled into work and ‘fessed up to accident upon first interrogation re why I was blushing.

Stupid Girl - Garbage